


Avengers Christmas - The World Map Edition

by Kare



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas with the Avengers, Gen, Natasha is awesome, No Plot, how much can super heroes eat?, lazy Christmas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-21
Updated: 2014-12-21
Packaged: 2018-03-02 15:37:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2817410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kare/pseuds/Kare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Okay, this is just what the title says: Avengers and Christmas. No plot. Maybe a tiny bit of crack. Whole lot of lazy and food and movies and a few anecdotes here and there. Not betaed. Just a merry bit of Christmas. (And the map part does become clearer after reading this)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Avengers Christmas - The World Map Edition

**Author's Note:**

> I still had this one on my PC. And I figured I either post it now or in a year... so... I present you with 6.500 plotless words about the Avengers and Christmas. Enjoy.
> 
> (And sorry about any typos or grammar mistakes. English isn't my first language. And after proof-reading this two times I stopped seeing mistakes.)

Tough she would totally murder everyone who EVER said it to her face, or spread the word a bit too publicly: Natasha is actually a nice person - … if the mood seizes her.

 

And if there is one thing that makes people do nice things the world over: it’s Christmas.

 

Okay, Avengers Christmas is a cliche, but come on: where else are earths mightiest heroes supposed to be? In case you have not notice: being a super being sort of clashes with a family life.

 

Stark didn’t have a whole lot of family left and even Pepper found it a bit lonesome with everyone gone for the holidays.

 

Steve and Bucky sort of… there isn’t all that much family left, okay? (Yes, there is Peggy, who happens to still have a family. A big and loving one. And though not one of them would mind having Captain America around for the holidays, him and Peggy weren’t really that close. Or maybe they had been a tad too close in the eyes of the public. One way or another: Steve did not wish to intrude on that party, so there…)

 

Clint never really had much family to begin with.

 

Natasha… well, lets just say, family wasn’t a given in her line of work.

 

Bruce was sort of sure that what remained of his family was better of if he stayed away from them - with the whole being-hunted-by-the-military thing still going on.

 

Which left Thor. Who completely agreed, though he already had plans to leave first thing on the 26th, to go and see Dr. Jane Foster.

 

Meaning from the 20th onward, Stark Tower mutated into a very unique version of a Christmas wonderland.

 

Bruce had been the first to arrive. And Pepper was sort of glad for the 'gotta go, last minute shopping' opportunities it allowed her. It wasn’t as if she had not discovered the joy of internet shopping along with the rest of the world. It was more that Jarvis made it damn hard to surprise Tony in any way - because intelligent AI or not, Jarvis knew where his loyalty lay…

 

And Pepper knew: one of the best gifts she could give to Tony - beside an Useless Box (seriously, google it, this one comes with it own kind of awesome), as well as some Chitauri junk Rodey had scrapped of the pavement after the Chitauri attack - was to just let the two men tinker till they dropped. Which, amazingly enough, happened after only two and a half days - just moments before Clint came over with enough Christmas movies to last them all the entire rest of the year.

 

And while Tony slept in a position on his counter that would make most yoga gurus proud, Pepper showed Clint the room he would share with Natasha. (yeah, Stark Tower is roomy, but come on: it’s Christmas. The time of the year where you are supposed to spend as much time as possible with your loved ones. And hey: Christmas is one of the few times of the year when you are happy to see people, even if you just stepped out of a plane accompanied by the mother of all jet legs.)

 

Clint looked around, sort of felt bad for being the first and totally started a cookie baking orgy. Because Clint is awesome like that. And maybe a bit of an insomniac. Though he knew, even then, that his work would hardly survive to see the Christmas morning.

 

Pepper kept digging up more and more ingredients and Bruce sort of fell asleep in the kitchen, tea pot in hand.

 

This was the reason why Natasha, when she did creep in at four in the morning, found a frankly disastrous kitchen and a not exactly flour-free archer in the bed she knew to be hers.

 

It was the 23th (already? Yep, do the math) and no one was in any particular hurry to get out of bed.

 

All the more since Stark on a caffeine hangover isn’t what you want to see first thing in the morning.

 

It was close to one (P.M.) when Steve and Bucky came over - hands filled with fresh buns, some wrapped packages and a rather small but sturdy Christmas tree, already decorated in an amazing array of paraphernalia they had liberated from a S.H.I.E.L.D. Christmas party and a free entry into S.H.I.E.L.D.s evidence vault. (You haven’t lived until you have seen a small tree decorated with bullet caskets, that yellow ‘crime scene do not cross’ band, a stuffed sparrow that still flapped its wings and sang, a real fake diamond the size of your fist, a screaming pink porcelain flamingo, two mostly shredded toy mouses, a shark tooth, half the remains of a broken vodka bottle, a coke glass instead of a top star and shredded files as a kind of tinsel imitation… - Natasha smirked every time she laid her eyes on it, though no explanation was forthcoming. And though Steve and Bucks seemed to be in on the joke, they didn’t tell either.)

 

While the first stories were shared and Clints cookies started to dwindle, Rhodey came in, not even bothering to come up with a way to carry close to 400 pounds of foodstuff. He simply pulled it all in on an industrial push cart and got Pepper to help him to spread all of it over the kitchen counter.

 

Steve and Bucky still got a little pale of the amount of food available these days. It didn’t stop them from grabbing a drink and joining the chat, though. Well, super soldiers needed super food too, right?

 

When Thor finally did show up around eight everyone had sort of taken a seat around the television. Clint and Tony were playing some kind of ego shooter. Rhodey and Steve were comparing war stories. Bucky listened to Bruce talking about far off countries. And Natasha and Pepper were sharing a bottle of red whine between the two of them, discussing body armor and dress tips.

 

Stark actually had presented Pepper with a bulletproof body armor clip board once. It was heavy enough to hit someone unconscious with. But it most definitely didn’t earn any style points.

 

They were discussing the merits of decorating it with nail polish, when an frankly unhealthy sounding metal screech made everyone hurry to the balustrade of one of the top floors of Stark Tower.

 

Thor had just landed, hammer in hand, snow on his clothes and a frankly monstrous Christmas tree at his side.

 

Everyone was 'sort of' staring. And Rhodey just shook his head, handed a 50 Dollar bill to Stark and took his leave. Stark had sent off the Asgardian to gather a tree. And Stark had known beforehand that this was exactly how it was likely to turn out… with a freshly chopped monstrosity from god knows where. Warning or no warning before hand, Rhodey had not seen it coming. But Thor sure as hell didn’t do anything half ways. Even if Rhodey honestly didn’t want to know where that tree had come from, how it was chopped or who might be missing it. And he probably was better off not mentioning it to his date for the evening…

 

So while Rhodey followed his own evening plans, everyone else started to decorate said monstrosity.

 

The girls very wisely choose to stand back and just watch the mayhem.

 

Because how do you expect this to go?

 

I mean: this is a tree. A REAL tree. A 30 meter spruce, to be precise.

 

… Do I really need to say it?

 

Well, what Rhodey had been keen to escape was the following:

 

Pepper and Natasha did the bright thing: move from red wine to grog. (hey, it’s cold out, okay?)

 

Stark suited up, FLYING the decoration on the tree.

 

Bruce… sort of grew a few extra inches to reach a bit higher then the rest.

 

Clint SHOT the decoration into the tree.

 

Steve WANTED to try tree climbing, but with all the other commotion going on he and Bucky just THREW things into the tree… and being a super soldier kinda means that you are not missing, therefore NOT endangering anyone on the ground.

 

And Thor just felt honored to be let in on one of those strange earthly customs.

 

… so, yeah, this is what happens when you allow responsible, grown up adults to revisit their inner child.

 

The part were it is cold out got mentioned yet? Because grog sort of proved… popular?

 

Not exactly with Tony, who does believe in quality drinks. But with the rest of them. Now: Alcohol does almost nothing to Steve and Bucky. Pepper and Natasha had started to take on an interesting shade of pink - all due to the cold of cause - and giggled like schoolgirls. (Though Natasha was almost as immune to alcohol as Steve. She just enjoyed being silly every now and then. But: psssst. You didn’t read that here…) Thor needed a lot more than Grog to get drunk. Clint sort of stopped archering after the third time he hit one branch to the left - all intentional, of cause. And Hulk… was surprisingly receptive to alcohol, given his weight. Which may or may not have something to do with the fact that he sort of drowned… one and a half liter of grog in one go? (Big guys need bigger mugs, right?)

 

It sort of… can we agree that the evening ended with a bunch of happy Avengers and a brightly decorated tree on top of a building, glittering every which way and being visible to half of the city?

 

There may or may not have been blurry mobile pics on Twitter the next day.

 

And it is in the realms of possibilities that a drunk Hulk has very little patience for tinsel and sort of… might have decorated himself with it. It may or may not have been Starks idea of mayhem and mischief to wrap the green dude in Christmas Garlands and maybe hang a Christmas Ornament on Hulks left ear.

 

At which point Bruce (!) got a drunken laughing fit, effectively unhulking himself and dragging his ass indoors with his last strength. He was wise enough to collapse close to one of Starks hidden radiators.

 

And if that was the explanation why the mostly naked scientist awoke the next day with plastic poking him everywhere… it would probably be better to leave this episode unmentioned.

 

And while everyone had sort of taken themselves to their rooms, Thor had been kind enough to stay up in the living room, watching over Bruce like he would over a fallen comrade… or something a bit less dramatic.

 

You can say what you like: Thor sure gathered stories to tell about this earthly tradition.

 

So the 24th might have started - way to early - with another hangover…

 

One that could be battled with more coffee, more food… more freshly baked cookies. Any maybe - when they finally did get around to decorating - someone finally introduced Thor to the concept of a ladder.

 

Tony figured it was the perfect time to introduce Thor to Christmas Carols, too. His version of hard rock carols got vetoed off kinda fast. But it was worth a try, right?

 

And with everything blinking and glowing every so brightly the Avengers took a seat in front of the TV - starting a one of a kind movie marathon.

 

The rest of the day would be spend with movies like The Polar Express, Santa Clause, A Christmas Carol, the Doctor Who Christmas Special, Die Hard (the classics, right?) as well as an Ice Age Marathon…

 

And though neither Steve nor Bucky and most of all not Thor would ever admit it aloud: they liked the animated movies the best. There was something about the all-is-right-with-the-world message that honestly did it for them.

 

And for the approximately 90 minutes every movie would take one or two of them would leave Starks private movie theater and work up some Christmas magic in the kitchen, for all to enjoy with the next movie.

 

Natasha was the first. Russian breakfast usually wasn’t all that big, but she opted for Blini with the topping of the eaters choice as well as some cocked eggs, halved, the yellow part spooned out, mixed with various other ingredients and being placed back on the halved eggs. It didn’t sound like all that much. But hey: we are talking about an entire day of eating, watching TV and hardly anything else. Even Avengers need a lazy day off, right? And this was a good start.

 

Pepper was next, because she knew what would happen if anyone allowed Stark into the kitchen. Her plans had been waffles. But they were sort of out of question after what Natasha had just served. Instead she opted for noodle salad. Of cause it tasted a lot better if you allowed it to sit for some time. And if she didn’t have to chop any veggies the next few weeks it was still too soon. But hey: their guests were strong men (and a woman) with quite a bit of an appetite. So there, she just hoped that around four kilogram of noodles would be enough to ensure that she and Tony would still find some left over as a midnight snack. (have you seen super heroes eat?)

 

Steve and Bucky were next. And you do have to understand something about those two. Okay, it was approaching the time of the day where you could eat something a bit more solid. But have you ever bothered to look up what counted as festive Christmas food between the wars? Because pigeons feature on a lot of these lists. As do Oysters (they were still cheap back then), grapes, oranges, celery, soup, cocktails (they sure knew how to drink), sausages, things we would label as snacks (Seriously: glazed nuts. You might munch them right now, but you probably wouldn’t label them as a meal) as well as sauces that would not really make it into any kind of top ten list these days. They had ‘variations of potato’ down to an art. As well as clear (!) soups. And most of the stuff took hours to make. No one - super soldier or not - could make a stuffed turkey or a roasted goose or something like that in 90 minutes. So they needed to compromise. Smoked pork chops is fried kinda fast. You can bake a number of fish in an oven quite simply. Steve sliced some salmon in sashimi quality. Ready made cranberry sauce might be a bit too sweet, but it is actually quite convenient. Breaded and baked Camembert was Buckys idea, but proved to be a stroke of genius. Because super hero or not: no on can eat tons of that stuff. A pot with mashed potatoes, one with mashed peas, one with Brussels Sprouts, one with Celery, one with Carrot Sticks, some pickled Olives as well as some blueberries… it might not look like a normal Christmas dinner. But it was well received, all the more since Steve insisted on a ‘real’ table and everyone helping themselves to the food of their choice. And Starks answer to that was one of those Chinese dinner tables with a rotatable top. Thor was sort of enamored with the thing. The fact that Bucky had actually brought along a (huge) self made pot of fruits in rum might have helped, too.

 

So when Bruce looked at the way everyone was slowly but surely falling into a food coma and he provided the three best solutions: hot drinks, cold drinks and ice cream! Because if Bud Spencer and Terence Hill taught anything to the world it is this: there is always room for one more scoop of vanilla ice cream. It might also have helped him catching surprisingly huge chunks of the Doctor Who special. Starks probably-never-before-used ice cream machine might have been a key factor in that.

 

Clint was next and put all his years with the Carnival to good use. He provided everyone with glazed nuts, fresh popcorn and chocolate covered fruits in remarkably authentic wrappings.

 

Thor didn’t really understand the meaning of food comas. Then again, he had not really grasped how a movie like Die Hard fitted in with the festive spirit everyone was trying to have. Or with the ‘cultural templates’ aka movies his friends had picked up until then. All in all it was fun. Or at least he was a lot more relaxed about ‘getting’ these movies since Jane Foster had phrased them as 'some kind of myths or retelling of the same old stories' and it was okay if he didn’t get every reference… or some such. He still found an entire day of this stuff… a bit daunting. Beside: food, talk and drinks made it a bit hard to get all the finer details. Though he still wasn’t sure if there really were any. Truth be told: he had been looking forward to a quite hour and he was ready to come up with quite a number of way to occupy himself. That was before someone pointed out to him that the next movie was part of a series (and it would be kinda bad to miss the first one if he was to see the later ones as well) and they were animated. And Thor did have a thing for animated movies. Especially the computer animated ones. And even more so if they included animals. So he did get the ready made dough for the sweet buns Jane had recommended, placed a small nut in them - just as Jane had explained to him in relation to some earthly tradition - and put them into the oven. All in all this had taken no more than 10 minutes. And he placed a pot - actually the last clean one, though the dish washer had been running non stop the entire day - on the stove with some mead in it. Give it 15 minutes and maybe he would make more mead later. And honestly: Ice Age was… kinda cute. Though by now he knew better then to mention this aloud.

 

Stark… probably should have been in the kitchen next. You did not really expect him to, did you? Because Tony totally was the kind of person who would order an entire traditional Christmas dinner to be delivered right to his dinner table. Especially on the night before Christmas. After all they had insisted to Thor that Christmas mainly was about sitting together and eating and… sitting together and eating. Some of the Avengers - for example people like Steve - were starting to get a little antsy about all that sitting around. But well: a bit more of alcohol and a conversation uninterrupted by movies made for a surprisingly lively conversation about Asgardian new year traditions, the merits of alcohol, youthful follies or bets gone wrong.

 

Natasha and Bucky - both more or less immune to alcohol - had started drinking each other under the table, this far with little consequence. Steve knew his friend finally relaxed around the others when Bucky started talking about the old times at the dock and how they had regularly smuggled in more than their daily dosage of alcohol.

 

Steve was almost tempted to chirp in with a story about the war and all the frankly horrible things they had eaten back then. But he had learned that no matter how light hearted he told those stories, people usually tensed up. So he just smiled and listened.

 

Thor tried to phrase how confusing he had found shopping for food - wisely omitting how much Jane had helped with that. And Steve had to agree whole heartedly. Thor couldn’t really tell the difference between a pack of salt and a pack of sugar without tasting. Steve still didn’t understand fully why anyone needed 50 kinds of water. And Bucky couldn’t grasp when all kinds of food stores had combined themselves into one, roping in hardware, the pharmacy, a drug store, a book store, electrical goods and all that jazz as well…

 

And the rest of the table just looked at them like they had started a self help group for Neanderthal men…

 

And though Steve hated to admit it: it was still a look he got a lot more often then he cared for.

 

And there was something else he wasn’t particularly fond of: people pulling his leg or situations where getting out of it was about as embarrassing as just going through with what ever was on the cards. Or maybe it was just that he was especially good at digging his own grave…

 

And one of the people who were brilliant at bringing Rogers in precisely this kind of situation was - probably to no ones surprise - Stark.

 

It started innocently enough. “There is still one Christmas duty to assign.” So, okay, this could be anything. “And I guess the honor should either go to one of our time-tested veterans… or our Asgardian guest.” Which did narrow it down to three people. And whenever someone started a request like that everyone left out was kinda keen to keep out. “We still need someone to place a glass of milk and a cookie underneath the Christmas tree.” And there was that dangerous, quietly amused look on Starks face. “Who of you volunteers?”

 

Bucky - the traitor - held up his hands and proclaimed he was out.

 

Which left Steve and Thor.

 

And Steve did want to worm his way out of this story - out of sheer principal. He probably might have come up with a way, too, if it wasn’t for Thors honest question: “Why?”

 

Which lead to the answering question of “Why what?”

 

“Why does Santa get a cookie and milk?”

 

And let’s stop for a second, right there. Because Steve? He is Captain America. He is going to defend Hanukkah, the Chinese New Year, Thanks Giving or Eastern to the best of his abilities. But most of all he is going to defend the Christmas Spirit. In this case with the most obvious answer: “Because Santa needs provision! After all he has a lot of ground to cover in a single night.”

 

Steve did say it so matter-of-factly that half of the table started grinning - secretly grinning, but grinning none the less.

 

To which Thor voiced one of the more interesting questions: “But the sleight is pulled by reindeer, right?” To which at least Steve nodded emphatically. “Don’t they need provisions, too?”

 

And even Bucky started grinning openly when Steve answered in the same tone of voice: “Which is why we usually lay out a carrot, too.”

 

At which point everyone was looking at Steve (who did have a day job as Captain America). And Captain America did not flinch. He did not flinch at the looks. And he did not back away from his given task either. And he refused to bat an eye at the quips Stark was waiting to make.

 

All the more since Thor approved - mostly because of the things Jane had told him about the Jule festival: it had featured an eight legged horse named Sleipnir, which was owned by Odin, and said horse often found threats on peoples roofs. Okay, people did connect the gesture with a certain hope, but it still was a nice gesture, right? And while Odin really wasn’t the kind of guy to ask random strangers to accompany him on a hunting trip, you had to leave the humans to their dreams and costumes… Right?

 

So it was taken as a given that Steve would take out the cookies and the milk - and a carrot.

 

And Steve would do just that, with a spine of steel and his dignity intact… after the second Ice Age movie.

 

If Steve ever had any hope of doing this without an audience it was quickly destroyed. Because everyone gathered to look at him while he went out and ‘enjoyed’ his task and the cold - not necessarily in the same order.

 

And do you remember how this little Christmas piece started? With that line about Natasha being a nice person? Because she had disappeared a little earlier. And right now she wasn’t leaning against Clint but against Bucky, whispering ever so quietly: “You know, most of Europe celebrates Christmas on the 24th. My Santa already placed his present in your room. I figured you two might like a head start, seeing that everyone else is getting the same. If you enjoy it I am very much looking forward toward tomorrows bragging contest. If you don’t… well, everyone else is getting the same. Need be given: do something about it.”

 

And for a long time Bucky had heated it, had heated it when people went out of their way to accommodate him. That was until he understood that mainly it wasn’t about him, it was more about people regularly bending themselves over backwards to please Steve.

 

There might also be a pool at S.H.I.E.L.D. that - at least officially - Bucky had never heard of. Unofficially the department was evenly split on one scenario: The next one who hurts Mister Barnes… is a) going to be treated like every other prisoner or b)… is going to end as a piece of dead meat by the hand of Mister Rogers (No questions asked.)

 

Bucky had seen the look on Steves face when the pool was… sort of not-mentioned…

 

Let’s just say that Bucky had a tendency of his own, but that betting on the event of ones own dead still seemed rather futile.

 

Strangely enough: though no one ever openly mentioned this whole mess in Buckys presence, it had done a lot to heal his and Steves relationship. And more than that: it had taught Bucky to just roll with it.

 

It was sort of… ‘cute’ to watch people worry about Steve.

 

And after all: they usually tried to please both of them.

 

If there really was a present waiting for him, it would be rather hard to hide it from Steve anyway. They were sharing a room after all… And Steve just knew him too well. Plus: that super serum hadn’t made him any less perceptive either.

 

And even if Bucky would never say it out aloud, there was a small part in him that suddenly didn’t view this a movie-marathon cum sleepover party with way to much food, conveniently placed at one of the colder times of the year. Suddenly he was curious not only what someone would gift him with, but also why he and Steve might need or ‘enjoy’ a head start.

 

Not all of the potential answers were innocent or suitable for kids, though a bit unlikely. But it did leave Bucky with quite a number of things he might surprise Steve with... on another day.

 

So Bucky tried to stay calm. Even if it meant sitting through a third Ice Age movie with his thoughts elsewhere.

 

And if anyone has been doing the math: they were on their eighth movie of the day, accompanied by enough food to feed an army. It does strange things to ones perception and to ones blood pressure. It was already past midnight. And while they very much started the fourth Ice Age movie, not all of them were around to finish it.

 

Thor most definitely sat through it. The Norse god wasn’t particularly big on sleep anyway. Sleep was nice, but strictly speaking he didn’t need it all that often.

 

Bruce and Tony had started a discussion about light bulbs that wouldn’t break. And Pepper had ever so discreetly started sneaking coffee at the two. By now she knew the signs of an all-nighter when she saw one.

 

Natasha and Clint had taken the not-sleeping part to their room. Especially after Clint had stated repeatedly that he found a slightly intoxicated Natasha rather charming.

 

At this point in the evening, Bucky wasn’t entirely sober either. Not to a degree that left Steve worried, but enough to add a slight slurring to his speech and a regular squinting and blinking to his eyes.

 

So Steve did the nice thing. Officially he only wanted to tuck Bucky in - though he phrased it a bit differently. And there had been a plan to make it back to the TV and maybe join Pepper and Thor in one of the fairly regular “It must be a strange world you are coming from” conversations. Those usually broadened the horizon, if nothing else.

 

Truth be told, Steve didn’t particularly care about anyones guess as to why he didn’t come back immediately. Or rather: not at all - at least during this evening.

 

The point is: Natasha wasn’t particularly subtle about her gift.

 

Right on their shared bed was a cylindrical package. It almost looked like a regular post package at that. Okay, one wrapped in none-descriptive brown paper, but still.

 

And if there was one thing that Steve had learned over the last few month: just keep your mouth shut and wait for Buckys next words. This was the easiest solution to most situations. So he didn’t question the hand on his sleeve, pulling him onto the bed. Steve did pick up Natashas writing on the package. So part of the mystery was already solved.

 

And okay, Steve would normally insist on waiting and such things. But seeing the twinkle in Bucks eyes, he could make an exception, just this once. Plus: Natasha usually had her reasons when she went out of her way. And maybe Steve, too, was just a tiny bit curious.

 

So Bucky unwrapped his present and before long he found a kind of world map on his lap. It wasn’t just any kind of map, as he discovered on closer inspection. It was covered with a kind of golden foil which could be scraped off. Underneath you would find information about the corresponding country. But the main idea was that you only scraped free the countries you already visited.

 

And yes, Buckys memories were still kind of sketchy. And a touchy subject, no less. But this was kind of… neat.

 

I mean: look, the first one is a no-brainer. Of cause Bucky had been in the US - which also wasn’t one of the smallest country to rub free. There had been a recent trip to Canada. And all of a sudden a quite stately portion of the map was already freed - with almost no effort what so ever.

 

There had also been a recent visit to Germany, along with a number of anecdotes Steve had shared about their former life.

 

Buckys first visit to Europe had been as a soldier, landing in England. The members of the Howling Commandos had first been captured in the Austrian Alps. To get there they had to get through France. And later, when Steve had freed them, he had led them back to Italy.

 

Suddenly Europa didn’t look that barren either.

 

And it was a perfect opportunity to share a few stories. Okay, mainly it was Steve talking and Bucky nodding every now and then. But it was a lot more then anyone had gotten out of Bucky on the subject of his life in quite a while. Maybe there even was a bit of laughter every now and then.

 

At least until Bucky got a look of grim determination on his face and started to scrub free the entirety of Russia. For a moment his finger twitched and Steve was sure Bucky was tempted to take China too, just for the hell of it. There had been hints in his file that he had been there, even if no one had been able to prove it yet.

 

So, what do you do, when your slightly drunken friend is starting to work himself into a foul mood?

 

Well, I am not sure what you would do, but Steves reaction was to place two fingers on Bucks wrist and use his free hand to point at Australia.

 

A tactic also known as: a complete change of subject.

 

“They’re in the middle of summer. Right now. If ours turns into another snow-free winter, maybe we can go there, skiing, during our summer?”

 

Bucky almost snorted. “After all I heard you had enough ice to last you a lifetime.”

 

“Maybe, but come on: I am finally strong enough to win a snowball fight and we don’t have them anymore.”

 

And yes, there was a small twitch on Buckys lips. Not a real smile, but close enough.

 

Steve named a few locations to which S.H.I.E.L.D. operations would likely lead them too over the next few months. There had been talk about a drug ring in Mexico. They were likely to have a press release date in London - though Steve still hadn’t figured out why. Tokyo had been named quite a bit recently, though Steve was rather sure he could very well do without ever visiting a place that crowded. Okay, it would likely make for awesome sushi, but still.

 

It wouldn’t add all that much to the map, but it was a start.

 

And there had been a recent mission that had gotten them to Bali/ Indonesia. It undoubtedly was a beautiful country… only, they had seen close to nothing there. It had been one of those find-and-retrieve missions and their target had been ridiculously close to the airport.

 

But Steve was willing to let it count if it lightened Buckys mood.

 

Bucky just shrugged his shoulders.

 

And Steve knew he was taking a chance. But there were still two months between the… ‘disaster’ that had happened at the Pontimac and Buckys rampage through Hydra hideouts. Bucky hadn’t told anyone where he had been during that time - not to one of the way to many psychologists, not to one of his handlers, not to Steve, to no one.

 

And Steve didn’t need details. All he really needed were hints. Just enough to be sure that his friend had been safe.

 

So when he asked… Bucky made a very vague gesture that most likely meant… New Zealand.

 

Steve didn’t question. Even if it was all the answer he would ever get. It was enough. Even if he did wonder what Bucky… actually, no, he didn’t wonder. He was rather sure Bucky had used a great deal of the time for fishing and to sort his mind out. There was no need to get a confirmation on that.

 

Sometimes even super soldiers needed a head canon. All the more since Steve knew Bucky loved fishing but had incredibly little patience for it.

 

They went about clearing a bit more of Europe. Steve and Bucky had gotten around during the war after all.

 

And Steve interjected a few more stories here and there. There had been a particularly embarrassing trip to Lithuania, a snow filled week on the Faroe Islands and a recent week in Pakistan that had proven quite spectacularly that a super serum did not protect you from the mother of all sunburns.

 

It was close to four in the morning when they finally fell asleep… practically in each others arms.

 

The night could have gone a lot worse.

 

So in the morning Bucky hadn’t cleared away part of the presents.

 

And just as Natasha had predicted, everyone was kind of bragging about all the places they had been too. To no ones surprise Natasha had checked off all of Europe and half of Asia. Stark checked off every country he had ever visited an airport in - which did mean most of the map got cleared nicely. Thor took it as a kind of a ‘plan my world tour’ guide. Bruce was the only one who had the entire American continent (north and south) and practically all of South Asia. And Clints map looked like it had chickenpox. Hardly one of the countries he visited was right beside another visited country.

 

Not really surprisingly: the morning conversation did turn to personal travel memories… even if it didn’t last.

 

Soon Tony and Bruce started discussing ways to ‘enhance’ Peppers presents.

 

And Thor was looking left and right with the kind of wide eyed wonder that is usually attributed to a child. Even after Jane had told him what to expect of Christmas, he was sort of floored that people would give him presents just for the hell of it.

 

And the one-present-fits-all-approach had proven quite popular this year.

 

Bruce stocked up everyone on tea. The girls were given half a pound of Caipirinia green tea. And the guys got half a pound of one of the strongest black tea Bruce had ever gotten his hands on. All those all-nighters had to be braved somehow, right? And amazingly enough a lot of people are actually more receptive to tea than to coffee.

 

Thor had gotten everyone mead. Not the real deal, but probably as close as this planet would allow him to get. It was meant as a reminder for this festivity. As in: you can drink it and think back to these wonderful days. But with everything else going on… people probably wouldn’t need it for that.

 

Steve had done the Steve thing and gotten everyone a (flattering and framed) drawing of themselves. And he had signed them. Those things were worth a small fortune. (Thanks to the signature) But most of all it was about all the time that had gone into making those. (okay, and maybe about the narcissistic tendencies in all of us… even the Avengers.)

 

Bucky had really stocked up on vitamins this year and gotten everyone his own pot of dried fruits in rum. (alcohol doesn’t turn bad after all)

 

Clint invited everyone for a bow-and-arrow-shooting-range-trainings-session thingy. After all this meant that they were likely to meet in the same constellation again.

 

And Tony had gotten everyone special made bracelets which would allow them to come and go to Stark Tower as they saw fit. It might not seem much, but for someone with Starks social skills it was quite a gesture. If the bracelet made for Bruce allowed access to a few more rooms in Stark Tower then the other ones… well, you gotta keep your science bro close, right?

 

And of cause there were more individualized gifts, too.

 

So maybe Clint did get a new quiver before he even left his bed. So what? It’s Christmas.

 

See, I told you: Natasha does happen to be awesome.

 

And at this point it probably wasn’t all that surprising to hear that the next movie marathon got vetoed off.

 

Steve and Bucky went jogging for close to three hours. Thor joined them for about two.

 

Tony and Bruce did start to re-invent the world or something.

 

And there were children’s homes to be visited later. And maybe more food. Carols. And hot chocolate… well, it is Christmas after all.

 

What else was exchanged is anyones guess.

 

And it could count as just 'another one of those' Christmases, if it wasn’t for the little known fact that most of the Avengers also secretly double as the grinch (too many bad memories) and this had been a surprisingly pleasant experience this far…

**Author's Note:**

> Like a number of people I did a NaNo this year. Like a number of people I had no idea what I was doing. Like a number of people I might have settled for a short story collection.  
> I still plan to salvage my Nano project for a few fics here and there (after all I am a lot more likely to post a fic then to release a book, so...), but I am in no particular hurry.  
> I just really felt that the Christmas fic should be out before Christmas... well that, and I with the mild weather around here I was hoping it would add to the Christmas spirit. Didn't really work for me. But maybe it did for you?
> 
> And just for the record:  
> Hulk was requested by a friend. Or rather: she requested a tree-decorating Hulk. She got one. Though I am pretty sure she imagined it differently.  
> All in all this whole thing grew way beyond what I had in mind. I was mainly trying to find a way to present Bucky with one of those maps. It wasn't meant as a therapy session. It just seemed like a good gift. The whole bragging contest part just sort of added itself. Don't tell me you can't picture it. That is totally what would happen.
> 
> The whole thing still feels kind of pointless, but as the saying goes: I regret nothing.
> 
> And if anyone is hung up on the 'S.H.I.E.L.D. does not exist anymore' part... well, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is incredibly hard to come by around here. And in my head canon it holds: the more things change, the more they stay the same. We are talking about an entire institute of highly skilled people here. For the most parts they would find a way to continue working together. Beside: it is Christmas. Who cares about canon? I am also aware of the "Stark would never become friends with Bucky" theory. And it is likely true. But I repeat: it is Christmas. For the length of this fic: These people are getting along just fine.
> 
> Oh, and if anyone wondered: I didn't make up a single gift. They can all be found via google. Including the bullet proof clip board...


End file.
